Oh my god this hurts like hell
Well, i think its pretty much over.
She typed me a paragraph and we talked via text (yeah. i know. great way to break up, right?) and basically what she told me is that she doesnt really know and its possibly the distance. The uncertainty is quite depressing. Its like being told that you are considered an outcast and not even being given a reason why. Especially when you seem to be fitting in superbly.
Honestly, that’s what i feel like. An outcast. Lost. Confused. Unsure. I never knew that breaking up consisted of all of these things. I mean, i knew that things would be rough. But nothing like this. I know what people mean now when they say they have a broken heart. Its bad.
Another thing..she wants to be friends still however, I’m telling her that she needs to prove to me that she deserves me as a friend. Because currently, I don’t see a reason to be one to her. In a relationship, its important to not only be the boyfriend or the girlfriend, but also the other party’s best friend. And honestly, thats what i would want even if we werent together. A best friend. And i don’t regard a best friend as someone who makes you feel miserable. They’re someone that picks you up when you’re down. Not someone that drops you down to that level and on your face none-the-less.
And you know what i have to say about that? I’ll say it in conclusion and in song..
“Hate is a strong word,
But I really, really, really don’t like you,
I really don’t like you.
Now that it’s over you can’t hurt me,
Now that it’s over you can’t bring me down.”
Thats right. You hurt me no longer.
Oh and btw. I know you’re reading this. So maybe you should think of something to cheer me up or change my opinion of you being that you still care about me. So if you do, you’ll find something..anything. Then maybe I’ll consider friendship.
PS: I’d like to be friends. A lot. I just don’t have a reason to be after i devoted and apparently wasted so much of my time on you to make you happy. Maybe its about time you returned the favor..
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Relationships between a man and a woman are more complicated than “being friends.” There’s that whole “sex” thing and that feeling that one person owns the other, or they own each other. I hate that part. Friendship is about giving freely, not about returning favors. If she wants to be a friend to you, you cannot stop her, but you can reject her friendship. You probably will because you can’t handle it. You would rather feel sorry for yourself because now there is no sex and no control and no exchange of favors. People can’t make each other happy, you can only decide to be happy. When you realize this, then you are making progress. Then you are growing up. Growing up has little to do with your age. Be happy. You don’t need her for that.
love is blind…but friendship close one eye…
well.. it’s like I knew!